Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Desperate Housewives - still a work in progress..... be nice! :)

Susan Meyer awoke in the middle of the night, rolled over and stared at the empty half of her King-sized bed where Mike had been sprawled out before she had fallen asleep earlier that night. It was12.38am and her ‘devoted’ fiancĂ© had gone AWOL from their bedroom….

Susan sat up, yawned and reached over to where her silky bathrobe hung and put it on over her purple, lacy nightgown. She walked over to the bedroom door, flicked the hallway light on and made her way downstairs to the kitchen. She thought she would give Mike the benefit of the doubt, and check if he had simply disappeared downstairs for a midnight snack or a glass of water before she started stressing out.

“Oh no…” She said to herself. Her worst fear was a reality. Mike was nowhere to be seen. Susan’s mind started working overtime. What could Mike possibly be doing out of the house at 1am???

“He must have freaked out about the wedding and made a run for it.” She thought to herself. “What else could he possibly be doing at this time of the night? There’s nothing else he could be doing…….” She sighed to herself, “How could this be happening to her??” Just when she thought she had finally gotten the man she loved and had a chance to live happily ever after in marital bliss, it seemed her dream was being crushed right before her eyes.

Not knowing how else to process this newly found information, Susan did what she did best, freaked out. She fiercely opened the freezer, grabbed the 2L tub of Cookies and Cream and started to dig in to the ice-cream while sobbing uncontrollably and thinking back over all the good times she and Mike had had together.

Julie rolled over in bed, groaned, grabbed her pillow and pulled it over her head to block out the terrible noise that had woken her up. She had heard a loud groan followed by hysterical crying. “Is something dying down there?” Julie moaned, even though she knew exactly what was going on…… It was her mum crying, and it wasn’t exactly an unusual occurrence.

Julie regretfully sat up, groaned again and got out of her nice, warm bed. She pulled her red, woolen jumper on over her pyjama top, slipped her feet into her fluffy slippers and made her way downstairs to see what all the fuss was about this time. Sometimes Julie felt like she was a mother figure to Susan, instead of the other way around and she could tell this was going to be one of those times.

“Mum…..? What’s the matter….?” Julie asked cautiously.
“It’s Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike……………..” Her mother moaned. “He’s gooooooooone! I woke up and he was just…… He was just gooooooone!”
“Why would he leave at this time of the night? Have you two had an argument or something mum?” Julie questioned. “There must be a rational explanation for this.”
“Ohmygod…..” Susan shrieked. “Ohmygod Julie……”
“What, mum? What is it?” At this point Julie was starting to worry something big might actually have happened. Susan was being even more dramatic than Julie was used to.
“Mike and I………. We have argued tonight! We started talking about wedding plans and I mentioned I wanted white lilies in my weeding bouquet and he asked why I didn’t want roses…….. Then we started arguing about it and he backed down. I wouldn’t have argued if I’d known roses were so important to him! What have I done, Julie? What have I done?”
“Mum…..?” Julie interrupted. “I don’t actually think Mike would have run away just because you prefer lilies to roses.”
“He must not have been sure about the whole wedding in the first place and now I’ve gone and scared him away completely by trying to control the whole thing and not giving him any input. I’ve pushed him away Julie and he’s gooooooooone,” sobbed Susan
“Oh god…..” Julie thought to herself. Her mum’s imagination had well and truly gotten out of control now.

Right then the front door started to rattle, a key turned in the lock and, speak of the devil, Mike appeared in the doorway holding his keys in one hand and his bag full of plumbing equipment in the other. Julie and Susan both turned to stare at him, but he just smiled and said, “What on earth are you two doing up at this time of the night?”
Susan opened her mouth to reply but nothing came out so she just sat there staring at Mike thanking God for bringing him back to her. Julie took one look at her dumbfounded mother and realized she’d have to do the talking this time.
“We could ask the same of you, Mike….?” She replied. “Where have you been at this time of the night?”

“I wasn’t going to tell you this Susan, but I’ve been taking on a lot of extra work lately….” Mike started.
“Extra work at 1am? How dumb do you think my mother is, Mike?” Julie couldn’t help but interrupt him.
Susan remained in the exact same position, staring at Mike with her mouth open, but still not able to say a word.
“Yes Julie, extra work at 1am,” Mike carried on. “I have been at Mrs. McCluskey’s house for the last two and a half hours……”
“Mrs McCluskey’s house…….?” Susan finally managed to speak her first words since Mike’s return.
“Yes, at Mrs McCluskey’s house, fixing the pipe under her kitchen sink because she called me, in shock, telling me she had just gotten up and walked in to the kitchen to get a drink and was walking in water up to her ankles!”
“But, why would you go over there so late? People can’t expect you to work until 1am!” Julie butted in.
“Okay, here’s the part I haven’t told you guys yet……” Mike started. “I have been advertising as a 24hr plumber for the last couple of weeks to make a bit of extra cash.”
“A 24hr plumber……?” Susan piped up.
“Why do you need extra cash? You’re not in trouble again are you Mike?” Julie asked suspiciously.
“No, no, not at all,” Mike assured them both, “I’m doing it because……. Well, because I want to be able to give you the wedding you’ve always dreamt about Susie…….. The wedding Ian would have given you……”

Julie smiled to herself and starting making her way back up the stairs to bed. Her work there was done, now she knew Mike wasn’t doing anything to hurt her mother, they could sort the rest out themselves.

“Oh, Mike…..” Susan exclaimed. “You don’t have to do that for me…… I don’t mind how much we spend on our wedding because it will be perfect for me just so long as you’re there! Just please, promise to never scare me like that again!”
“I’m so sorry honey and I promise I won’t ever again. I love you….” Mike replied and then smiled to himself. His real secret was safe……

7 comments:

OliverCarle said...

This is really good Jess. I don't know the show very well but I can still kind of imagine the characters. You do a great job of capturing Susan's neurosis

OliverCarle said...

Oh, and I like the mother-daughter dynamic

maori boy said...

I liked it. was good because you kept the reader interested, and you even put a little twist at the end to make the reader want to know what was really going on...grrreat!

Chrimbinal said...

Well , time for some feedback.
with many words..Constructive though!
Okay, Firstly, reading through, I thought it was weird that Julie would call Susan "mum" seeing as they are American. Wouldn't she say "mom"?It probably doesn't matter but it stuck out to me. I think you need to reread it carefully and edit whatever sounds funny and the little grammar mistakes. There are only a few though, and overall it's well written. It felt like it was getting a little bit saccharine (overly sweet)right at the end but then that little twist cured that :). That kind of thing will always get a person like me who can't stand being left hanging!! I'm so intrigued dammit! and I don't even watch the show.

Tar-Frost said...

very gooooooooooooooood!

keep it up.

OliverCarle said...

you know it's funny i read the whole thing and somehow totally didn't grasp the loaded nature of that last sentence...how embarrassing.

so yeah, what was he up to?

(i hate to say it but the mum thing caught my eye too, weird? very. unimportant? most definitely.)

IdaPida said...

i really enjoyed this,
it reminds me quite a lot about i think it's the 2nd season of the series, or maybe the end of the first one. i haven't been able to watch it in a while, with the whole Mike keeping a secret theme.

but you've really managed to capture Susan's character, i say the more the better, she can never get neurotic enough.

i too am intrigued by hanging endings, but maybe you could give just a tiny hint of what the secret might be, not enough to reveal it, but just to get the mind going.

Well done, i really liked it:D